Fox Force Five! (continued!)

As you may recall, the Fox Force Five! are looking for clues as to the whereabouts of a missing super-secret stealth bomber and its pilot, Lt. Col. Brock Towers. The trail of clues has led them to the world renowned Getty Center in the L.A. hills. Team leader Lark is scouring ancient korean documents in the South Pavillion, in the hope of coming up with a clue. japanese martial arts expert Suzume, frustrated by everyone's mistaking her nationality, is keeping a low profile in the azalea garden, while Michelle, the french bombshell, is having cautious sex with a docent in the cactus garden. Meanwhile Raven and Robin are sitting in the central courtyard, reflecting on what they've seen so far over iced lattes .......




"Sure, he's a great painter, you just have to look at the nuances of the apostles' expressions to see that, I'm just saying it's all so freakin dark. I mean, didn't they have windows back in seventeenth century Holland? How about some candles?" asks Robin of the exhibit of Rembrandt's Late Religious Portraits.
"What do you expect? He painted his girlfriend as the Virgin of Sorrows - how happy could the guy be? Besides, these paintings were pretty revolutionary in the way they portrayed the apostles as real, vulnerable people. You can only knock down walls one at a time." countered Raven "But maybe it would be a good idea to go look at some lighter stuff."
"SHOW ME THE MONET!" yells Robin.
The two of them burst into laughter.
Their reverie is interrupted by the shrill ring of Raven's phone. She fishes it out her pocket.
"Hello ....... Okay, we'll be right there." she looks to the South Pavillion, "Lark thinks she's found a clue, lets go."

Lark is closely examining a very large, beautifully engraved book, clearly of great antiquity and value judging by the broken glass and comatose guards on the floor around her. Suzume is already there, clearly irritated that Lark had taken out the guards before she got there.
"What've you got Lark?" asks Raven.
"Where's Michelle?" asks Robin.
"Something that shouldn't be here....... She said she'll be coming in a few minutes." replies Lark to them both.
Raven, Robin and Suzume roll their eyes.
"Look here", Lark points at a section of faded parchment. "If my memory of ancient korean dialect serves me right, this is a reference to the hunting of the great black hawk by the ancestral followers of Tangun. Do you agree Suzu?"
"Japanese, you fucking bitch," Suzume mutters under her breath.
"What's that Suzu?" asks Lark, engrossed in the manuscript.
"I wouldn't know, Lark hun, I'm Japanese, remember." she chirps merrily.
"Oh yes, sorry Suz - you know how it is." responds Lark with a wave of the hand.
"Sure, I'll know how it is when I kill all four of you bitches. We'll see who can remember who's japanese, chinese and korean then!" Suzume thinks to herself and grins.
"And thai?" thinks Robin.
"Fuck!"

"So what's out of place, Lark?" asks Raven.
"Well, it's this," says Lark, turning a huge, fragile parchment page gingerly.



"Wow, that IS out of place," exclaims Michelle as she walks in, tucking her blouse into her jeans.
"Yes, but there's something even more out of place" exclaims Lark with urgency, "I need to get to the library!"
"What is it?" asks Raven.
"It's a large building with books in it. But that's not important right now," replies Lark, hurrying out of the door.

As the five make their way across the courtyard towards the Getty's impressive research library, Raven spots something unmistakeable in the reflection of the window opposite - the reflection of of a sniper's telescopic sight! Or someone wearing sunglasses. She spins, in one fluid movement reaching to her boot to retrieve the knife and flinging it upward in a perfect spiral. A body falls from the roof, a rifle crashing beside it. The Five! gather around the fallen sniper, knowing they have little time before having to call in some favors. Reaching into the dead man's jacket, Robin pulls out an ID card. "Ngoyen Van Luc; Vietnamese Department of Virus Control, Special Attache to the Centers for Disease Control".
"The guy's a virologist - why'd he be shooting at us?" she asks, bewildered.
"And why are the vietnamese involved now?" asks Suzume, fearing yet another misunderstood asian nationality trait.

From behind them a commanding voice exclaims,
"I might have guessed the Fox Force Five! wouldn't be able to go to a museum without killing someone!"
The Five! whirl on their heels, unaccustommed to being referred to by their supposedly covert group name.
"And who may you b..." starts Lark, instantly recognizing the face of the person standing before her.


Guest Starring Vincent Vega as Special Agent Cliff Powers

"The face you clearly recognize is that of my identical twin, Lieutenal Colonel Brock Towers." says the tall, dashing man standing before them. He holds in front of him an ID card; "Special Agent Cliff Powers. FBI, MI5: Super High Level Clearance."
"Wow! FBI and MI5," exclaims Raven, clearly impressed.
"My mother was british," explains Special Agent Powers.
"But I saw no mention of a brother in Lieutenant Colonel Towers' dossier, and it was pretty detailed." recalls Lark, once again calling on her photographic memory.
"Well up until just recently I didn't know I had a twin brother ....."

Cliff Powers goes on to tell the Five! the story of the two twin brothers. Their parents had both been deeply engaged in espionage at the height of the cold war, Rock at the CIA and Rosie at MI6. They had made many enemies between them, not only in the Soviet block, but all around the world, even in their own home countries. Each of them had made decisions that no person should ever have to make, often resulting in the death of not only their adversaries, but also their colleagues. But when Rosie Flowers discovered she was pregnant and, later, that she was expecting twins, they faced the hardest decision they would ever have to face. They decided that, since both they and their children would be at risk of assassination for the rest of their lives, they would separate, never to see each other again, each assuming new identities and each taking one of the twins. Rock took Brock and Rosie took Cliff. No one, including the twins, was to know of this.
In 1981 Rock was tracked down and killed with a botulinus toxin-tipped umbrella by a vengeful bulgarian widow. Perhaps because she had children herself, she spared Brock, who rapidly rose through the US Air Force's ranks. Rosie had covered her tracks well and eluded assassination by enemy counterparts. only to be defeated by her own genes and habits. She had succumbed to lung cancer just six months ago. But before dying she revealed the whole truth to her beloved son Cliff. Eventually Cliff had uncovered the identity of his twin, only to find that he was missing in action during a routine training flight over North Korea.

Engrossed in the Special Agent's story, the Five! temporarily forget about the dead vietnamese virologist with a knife sticking out of his chest at their feet. As Cliff starts to relate his own meteoric rise to Super High Level Clearance in the FBI and MI5 he is interrupted.
"Do any of you know anything about the dead guy with a knife sticking out of his chest here?" asks a California Highway Patrolman.
"Oh my god! Look Raven, there's a corpse right at our feet!" exclaims Robin.
"Oh my god, oh my god!" replies Raven.
"Okay folks, move it along, this is a murder scene." orders the CHP officer.
As the Five! and Cliff walk away, Michelle uses her experience, and the knowledge that she's not wearing a bra, to divert the attention of every cop at the scene, while Raven reaches down to retrieve her favorite knife from the virologist's chest.

As they walk away Luc breathes a relieved, if very painful, sigh of relief.

Within minutes the Five! are headed south on the 405 in the Big Mutha Foxmobile, their customized SUV. Lark is at the wheel with Raven beside her. Suzume and Robin are seated behind them and Cliff and Michelle are in the back.
"Where are we going Lark?" asks Raven.
"South, we're headed South." replies Lark mysteriously.
"Wouldn't be the first time," chimes Robin.
"Hey, where's Michelle?" asks Lark looking in the rearview mirror.
"Umm I think she uhh dropped something on the floor," replies Cliff distractedly.
"MICHELLE!" yells Lark.
Michelle's head suddenly bobs up from behind the back seat, a startled expression on her face.
"You know the rules!" continues Lark, anger in her voice. "No intimacy with team members!"
"I'm sorry Lark, I forgot for a moment," replies Michelle apologetically.
"Actually I'm not technically a member of the ......" Cliff starts timidly before being cut off by the harsh glare from the rearview mirror.

To break the ensuing uncomfortable silence Robin makes a suggestion;
"How about one of your jokes Rave?"
"Yeah, lets hear a joke, Rave," chime in the rest of the Five!
"Okay. So three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, Catch up."

To break the ensuing uncomfortable silence Robin makes a suggestion;
"How about some music, Rave?"
"Yeah, lets hear some music, Rave," chime in the rest of the Five! and Cliff.

Raven flips on the music. Soon the Five! are singing along, as they usually do when listening to the Bangles covering a song by one of their favorite girl bands. This time its Sleater-Kinney's "The Fox".

"Shiny pretty fox" thought the duck,
The duck came up on to the land
The fox saw her and he just laughed ....

"Great song," remarks Cliff as the music fades out. "Reminds me of a guy I used to work with in the FBI some years ago. Claimed his sister had been abducted by aliens. Good agent though. They retired him in the end to keep him quiet."
"What does he do now?" asks Suzume.
"Apparently he's getting his message out through the internet. He's got a blog under some pseudonym. Duke Of Me or something like that." replies Cliff.
"Good for him, everyone has to maintain their belief in something," comments Robin.

About a mile behind the Five! on I5 a sleek black limo with black tinted windows cruises in the same direction. Sunglasses in the passenger seat follows the red blip on the laptop in front of him.
"Looks like they're headed for San Diego," says sunglasses, turning to face the suit in the back seat.
"Just follow and keep distance," replies the suit in a calm, level, measured tone.
"I think I know where they're going," as he lights another cigarette.

Join us after the commercial break, when the trail of clues lead the Five! to the San Diego Zoo, where Suzume takes on a pair of ninja pandas and Michelle takes on a bunch of horny meerkats.

FOX Breaking News.

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcast to bring you this FOX exclusive news story. FOX News has learned that a group of liberal anti-americans has issued a request to the government of Venezuela to assassinate the Reverend Pat Robertson.
We go live to our political correspondent in Washington, Dick Risingtall.

"Yes, indeed, Brat, I have in my hands a copy of the written request sent to the Venezuelan President by this coalition of liberal subversives. If I hold it up to the camera you can see it reads as follows:

"We the people who have sined underneath, formerly request that the government of Venezwailer take out Pat Robinson.
Sined,

"Now unfortunately, Brat, FOX News is currently not able to show the signatures or to release the names of those signing the document. However, I can say that there are some notable liberal politicians and namby pamby hollywood celebrities included in the list."

"Dick, has there been any word from the White House on this?"

"Yes, Brat. A spokesman for the White House has said that this threat to a highly respected US citizen will not go unanswered. Unofficially, Brat, its been known for some time that the President has been wanting to hit back at some of these jackasses, especially after seeing himself on film sitting in a children's classroom for several minutes."

"Well thanks, Dick. FOX News of course joins all americans in supporting the Reverend Robertson and condemning these evil, liberal anti-americans.

In other breaking news, at least one person is feared dead after a mysterious automobile incident on a bridge in New England.

We now return you regularly scheduled programming."

Cali/steve t has started tutoring biology and chemistry to high school kids as a first step in career transition to teacher/science writer wannabe. Since he has to re-learn high school/college chemistry, his mind is somewhat distracted by dissociation constants, perturbed by the periodic table and submerged in subatomic particles. Therefore I, Foxy, will take on more blog posting responsibility. Expect more foxiness.

time out.

please check back later.

sabbaticali.

I never noticed before, but it seems the flags of Romania and Belgium are almost identical. Its not like they have much else in common.

Ancestral home of Count Dracula and assorted undead misfits. More recently home to one of the most evil dictators of the past hundred odd years. Play football with more flair than yer average east european team. Hate being mistaken for hungarians.

Home to a bunch of useless bureacrats. Good chocs, if you like 'em. Great beer, if you like gettin wasted. Play football with as much flair as a doorstop (Scifo excluded - with a name like that he should be italian anyway). Hate being mistaken for the french, but deserve it.

Now, if I was either Romanian or Belgian I'd probably be pretty pissed off about these stereotypical generalizations. But between them they've only visited the blog twice, so I'm not too worried.

Madagascar (sp.)

I'm Mad As Hell and I'm moving to Madasgascar.

It was cold .... and it was dark
What I was looking for.
Light!
I switched on the flashlight.
all was clear.
All would be absorbed.
Light, sound, existence,

Who took the bomp from the bompalompalomp?

"How many times have you bust, Jane?"
"I don't know, I don't think I have yet," replied the dealer with an apologetic smile.
I think she was right. But it came as no surprise. The previous night had seen the start of a quite impressive losing streak, one which I'm sure would have contended for some kind of record, had it been recorded. Yet all around me seemed to be raking in the chips like the clean up guy in a Pringles factory. For instance,
"You sure you want to split them?" asked the dealer looking at the pair of two's in front of the guy to my right, then at her ten.
"Ummm, yes, I think so..."
Needless to say he won both hands after she (and I) went bust. But this was how it went all night.I was finally persuaded to quit after losing my last two chips to consecutive blackjacks.
I consoled myself with "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas". Or so I very much hoped.

My mood level was elevated (lets say to pink on a totally arbitrary and meaningless color scale) when, while walking through Mandalay Bay, I discovered that Le Tigre were playing that very night at the House of Blues. Woohoo!
They totally ROCKED! And the delicious irony of seeing them play in Vegas made it even sweeter. If you know Le Tigre and you know Las Vegas, I think you'll know what I'm talking about.

In other news there seems to be a veritable dogfight going on for bronze medal position on the counter on the right, between UK and Taiwan. Familiar territory for the brits, but, I suspect, less so for the Taiwanese.

Okay, clearly this is one of those filler posts. Next up, continuation of Fox Force Five!

BTW - what's YOUR take on Cassavettes?
Misogynist? Genius?
Alcoholic? Messiah?

The creative element of the blog ("What creative element, Cali?") is temporarily in limbo (who's limbo, Foxy?).

In the meantime, I just finished watching tonight's Daily Show - the only consistently excellent TV show in a lake of pond scum. Tonight's guest was Robert F. kennedy Jr., who seeks to increase awareness about the danger of childhood vaccination. In particular he points toward a "scientifically proven" link between the use of thimerosal (mercury) based vaccines and autism, which he claims to account for frightening increase in autism incidence in kids over the last twenty or so years. As I've discussed before, the increasing rate of autism diagnosis is truly alarming, but there simply is no good scientific evidence, as far as I'm aware, that it's linked to thimerosal-based vaccination. The simple fact that autism and autism spectrum disorder diagnoses are continuing to skyrocket, while thimerosal-based vaccines have been used for more than twenty years, argues against a causative link.

People need someone or something to blame for that which they don't understand and which hurts them; mercurial vaccines seem to be the moslem vehicles of the medical world. There's no doubt in my mind that Kennedy's heart is in the right place, and research should still be rigorously applied to the possible link between vaccines and autism, but such strident rhetoric can only deflect from real research into the causes of these disturbing developmental disorders.


After quite a few weeks, and one postponement, I saw my therapist today; 9 am appointment, as usual arrived at 9.30 with an excuse. It was a short session to catch up with a few weeks of being "off schedule". I explained, or excused, myself about the wedding trip and pointed our upcoming trip to Vegas this weekend (we have an old friend staying - we're driving there). Bottom line? Back on schedule next Sunday or we talk about detox. It is a very scary prospect for me.

K. asked me again about how I would feel living without alcohol. Out of the blue I mentioned a few blogger friends (not by name!) who were bipolar. The descriptions I've read from them of being bipolar and off the meds, and the reluctance to go back on the meds seem to mirror so closely what I can only imagine it will be like to live without alcohol. It should be no surprise, after all, addiction and psychological disorders are controlled by the relative levels of certain neurotransmitters (fuck you, Tom Cruise!) It's the sense of loss, the feeling you'll never experience THAT feeling again. But, more than anything, its about being prepared to endure the unendurable lows for those ephemeral highs. Or is it? Let me know, hee hee hee!

Amazing Anonymous was kind enough to ask Fox a set of five questions. My answers and the mandatory instructions are below. I'd be quite happy to ask anyone else who wants to play another five questions.

Instructions.

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "Interview me." "Blow me" or "Eat me" are not acceptable substitutes.

2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different. I'll post the questions in the comments section of this post.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


1. Most important discovery of the last century?

Penicillin.

2. Candy is dandy, but liquor quicker. Which do you prefer, though?



Kandy Kiwi Mousey. Yummy!

3. What do you have in your pockets right now?

The 8 ball. (Don't ask me what that means, I've no idea).

4. 'Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe. Explain.

I'm going to let Scully handle this one.
"Oh, freakin' great! You couldn't give me the most important discovery question?"
Just thought you'd be familiar with Jabberwockies and Jubjubs, that's all *smiles pathetically*.
"Loser."

5. Who is your favorite Bob?

I'm torn between "yer uncle" and the great Sir Bobby Charlton. But glancing across at the nationality hit counter, it seems pretty unlikely that anyone will know either of them.

I'd planned a post about our week in TN, and M and J's wedding.
Somehow I can't do it.
It was a wonderful week though.
To share with two very special young people entering a new life, to enjoy being part of a large, new(ish) family, to sneak out for cigarettes with a whole bunch of new friends.

Priceless.

See what I mean? Blogger's block.

We're off to Tennessee tomorrow - family wedding. Back in a week or so, not that that will affect post frequency! Still in the stone age of photography (no digital) but maybe I'll post pics.

Happy Canada Day, Canadians!

Happy Fourth of July, Americans!

Happy, well, just Happy, Spirit Of Owl and any other non-North American visitors!

Well, its 4.30 in the morning, and I can't sleep. I can hear the rats in the roof - they're obviously pissed off they can't come down. I have two posts in mind - one is a Fox Force Five follow up, the other is, well, something else.

Did y'all see the "nationality" hit counter over there on the right? Cool yet retarded, huh? But kinda interesting - I really didn't think so few people visited here. Whatever.

I lied when I said it was 4.30, cos its now 4.22. I just hate this time of the day. It takes away from me any sense of being - its cold when I'm sweating, its smothering when I've thrown off the sheets. Yet it offers the promise of sweet daylight.

Daylight's promise tends to depend on twilight's demise. The more consumed, the deeper the sleep, the shallower the soul. If I were to believe in such things as souls, that is.

I'm going back to bed - and will no doubt delete this later.

Blogenesis.

"seizethenite writes much better than you" observed S. as she browsed through my bookmarked blogs. I agreed.

"What's your blog about, anyway?" She asked, while reading a now de-posted post about a "Fox" character describing to his imaginary partner a devious scheme to create a mass market for highly profitable anti-depressant drugs in China.

I was going to answer with the well-worn Seinfeldism of it being about nothing, but replied with "Connections, its about interconnectivity" since the post she was reading was connected both to the Foxy theme and to the previous post. So I guess that is what it will be, if it hasn't so far been, about. After all, the site's logo is the molecular structure of dopamine, a neurotransmitter which enables one neuron to connect to the next.

The science blog started life as a means to an end, one not yet reached. It was intended as a forum through which to present pieces of science writing to potential publishers. Suffice to say my career as a science writer is still taxi-ing on the runway. However, if it didn't attain the goal of launching a new career, it did introduce me to the world of blogging. A few bloggers stumbled upon the blog and apparently liked it enough to leave comments, setting in motion the reciprocation/appreciation cycle.

Since my only means of "personal" blogging was through commenting on others' blogs, I decided to start another one and came up with the brilliant idea of a blog composed solely of lists. I labored under the delusion that this was a brilliant idea for a few days, posting my lists of most and least favorites in sport, music, cinema and so on, until I realized it was quite stupid and changed the blog title appropriately. These days I don't pay it much attention, but plan to at least post a list or two every now and then, if only for the one person who graces it (hehehe) by visiting.

After a while I realized that its pretty easy to create a new screen name and blog, and so could blog in a way that would not compromise my career goals. This blog began as a chronicle of my life with alcoholism. Not my "battle against alcoholism" or my "endless struggle with addiction" but more how I was (and am) trying to embrace it and convince it that it needs to moderate itself "a lil". I deleted those early posts, mainly because they were mostly written not only under the influence, but also at some very low points; it defeated the purpose. I think Super Kitty was the only person to see them. So I determined the blog would become more upbeat, focusing on the highs more than the lows.

And so it went. And one day, not so long ago, on a whim, I invented Fox and his foxy blog. It soon became apparent that having three screen names was more trouble than it was worth - leaving comments at others' blogs and having to decide who should be leaving them was just not worth it. So Fox joined Cali and here they are, apparently with an inspired agenda of interconnectiveness in mind.

Oh yeah, I shouldn't forget Pura Vida. This is where the novel that stirs and develops within me will some day find its stage. Until then its an empty blog - not sure which is most stupid.

Ohhh, that post about poor old Fox? I removed it because it was pretty stupid.

But when has that stopped me before?


"Hello, Scully? Look, can you get over to the National Institutes of Health as quickly as possible? I'd like you to find Dr. Riccardo Cerrione at the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, he's an old friend."

"Well it looks like our friends have hatched up a new plan to increase their power base and we'll need Ricco's help in figuring out how to deal with it."

"Yes, I'm pretty certain he's behind it, but apparently he's using a nicorette patch these days."

"Okay, I'll explain. As you know, they've been buying up shares in high profit business sectors for a while now. Well, it looks like they've pretty much got a stranglehold on one of the highest profit sectors."

"Yeah, that's the one. And they're not wasting any time in using it."

"Okay. You may have seen a story on the wire about a new drug which can counter SARS infection."

"Yeah, Cinanserin. Like you say, its curious, but its not coincidental. Seems they've tweaked the SARS genome so that it produces a protease with an active site that accommodates a molecule of Cinanserin. We need Ricco to prove that this strain of SARS has been purposefully genetically engineered, and didn't just arise from random mutation."

"Well, as you know, Cinanserin was first introduced as an anti-schizophrenic. It blocks serotonin neurotransmission by acting as a 5HT-2 receptor antagonist."

"Exactly, just the opposite action of SSRI anti-depressants. Can you imagine the consequences of treating even a fraction of the Chinese population with a drug that may induce severe depression?"

"Well how would you treat it?"

"Exactly! With long term SSRI treatment. Bottom line? There's a SARS outbreak in China and overnight you've got the largest market the world's ever seen for a profitable psychoactive drug. And the Chinese Government pays for it! My source tells me they've already started ramping up production of Prozolaxil about a hundred-fold."

"Okay, great. While you and Ricco get to work on the virus' DNA I'm going to take a trip to Beijing - someone's getting ready to release a virus, and I plan to be there. Call me if you make any progress Scully.
Scully? Scully??"

After screening a large chemical library, researchers have come up with a drug that may be useful in treating infection by the SARS virus. They found that the drug Cinanserin could inhibit the SARS protease and thereby halt the SARS life cycle in much the same way as HIV protease inhibitors block HIV proliferation. If another outbreak were to start in China, or anywhere else, it's hoped that drugs like this, even if not 100% effective, would be able to stop the outbreak before it becomes epidemic. Curiously, and coincidentally, Cinanserin was first developed as a treatment for schizophrenia, based on its ability to block the neurotransmitter serotonin. In a simple sense it has the opposite effect of the "SSRI" anti-depressants like Prozac and Zoloft. Hopefully with the help of Cinanserin, the people of China will feel secure in being SARS-free.
Really fucking depressed, but SARS-free.

Batman began, came and went. And it totally rocked! Christian Bale was so impressive as Bruce wayne/Batman that its hard to fathom how Keaton, Kilmer and Clooney were ever picked to play the role. Clooney? What the hell were they smoking when they came up with that idea? Cillian ("28 Days Later") Murphy was superbly creepy as Scarecrow and Michael Caine defined the role of Arthur.
Talking of miscasting (the Clooney thing), on getting home, being too boring to go out on a Saturday night, and there being nothing else to watch, we started watching the movie "The Jackal". Now, in contrast to the inspired casting of the original "Day of the Jackal" which I've already referred to, this one featured Bruce ("Yippee-Kai-Yay, M*therf*cker!") Willis as the suave, low-profile, man-of-many-disguises, super-smart Jackal. But, even stranger, Richard Gere played the imprisoned IRA terrorist! Each time he came on screen I couldn't help smiling, then laughing ou loud when he started talking - didn't do much to suspend the tension ...... which was pretty much non-existent anyway.

The soundtrack to this morning's workout on the Precor. Not because you care, but because I can:

"Bela Lugosi's Dead" Bauhaus; "The virginal brides file past his tomb/Strewn with time's dead flowers/Bereft in deadly bloom"

"A New Morning, Changing Weather" The International Noise Conspiracy; "Hey independence, we're playing a little game"

"Gut Feeling" Devo; "I look for sniffy linings, but you're rotten to the core"

"Take It Off" The Donnas; "Stop staring at my D cup....Come on baby just give it up"

"Search and Destroy" Iggy and the Stooges; "Honey I'm the world's Forgotten Boy/The one who's searchin', searchin' to destroy"

"Regaining Unconsciousness" NOFX; "And you still believe this aristocracy gives a fuck about you/They put the mock in democracy and you swallowed every hook/The sad truth is you'd rather follow the school into the net/Cos swimming alone at sea is not the kind of freedom you actually want"

"Columbia" Oasis; "This is peculiar/We don't want to fool ya"

"Commando" The Ramones; "Second rule is be nice to Mommy"

"Alex Chilton" The Replacements; "If he was from Venus, would he meet us, on the moon/If he died in Memphis that'd be cool"

"On Top of your World" Sahara Hotnights; "Once and for all and forever to be"

Fox Force Five!

Long thought to have been destroyed by jealous husband Marcelus Wallace, the last reel of a legendary TV show was recently discovered collecting dust in the wine cellar of director Jimmie Dimmick's Beverly Hills home. Now, after more than ten years waiting, we bring you the pilot episode of Fox Force Five!

As the Fox Force Five theme, a Bangles cover of "Foxy Lady", plays, the opening credits roll.....

Starring:


Mia Wallace as Raven McCoy. Expertise; knife play, acrobatics


Beatrix Kiddo as Lark Dakota. Expertise; team leader, photographic memory


Go Go Yubari as Suzume Taka. Expertise; martial arts


Vernita Green as Robin Banks. Expertise; demolition


Jaqueline Brun as Michelle Auspree. Expertease; coolness, seduction


And with Bill Caine as "Falconer"

Episode 1. The Pilot.

The Fox Force Five are lounging, bikini-clad, around the pool at their luxurious Malibu beach house. Suddenly a large, two-sided screen emerges from the center of the pool. As the water streams down the shining black surfaces, an image of a man appears on each side of the screen. Perhaps in his late fifties, yet with a youthful glint in his eyes. He reclines in his black leather chair and speaks with a quiet, understated, yet strangely commanding voice.

"Hello Fox Force Five."

"Hello Falconer" reply the Five in unison.

"Fox Force Five, I have a code 1, top priority, maximum security, super secret assignment for you. At oh six hundred hours eastern standard time this morning, a top secret US Air Force prototype Solaris supra-sonic stealth fighter bomber carrying a full complement of short-range, search and destroy, air to surface, laser-guided, nuclear smart missiles and its pilot, Lieutenant Colonel Brock Towers, went missing during a routine training test flight over North Korea. The Vice President just called me to fill me in on the details and instructed me to assign you to the mission ASAP. Our national security depends on you finding and recovering the top secret prototype supra-sonic stealth fighter bomber, the search and destroy, air to ground, laser-guided, smart missiles and Lieutenant Colonel Towers."

"You can rely on us Falconer."

"Lark, as usual, as team leader you will be responsible for making executive decisions in the field and for communicating progress to me. However, since you'll probably be encountering some Koreans along the way, you should make full use of Suzume's experience and language skills."

"Ummm, actually I'm japanese...." Suzume interjects sheepishly.

"Okay, enough talking, Fox Force Five. Let's kick ass!"

In no time at all (quite literally), the Five are headed down Sunset in Lark's Chevy convertible, Lark at the wheel, Raven beside her and Suzume, Robin and Michelle in the back, swaying from side to side as the Chevy lurches around the bends and curves.

"Where are we headed, Lark?" asks Raven.

"I saw a piece in the Times last week about a visiting exhibition of ancient korean art at the Getty. I thought we'd start there. 너 생각한다 무엇이 저 아이디어에 관한 Suzu?" She asks Suzume in fluent korean,

"Japanese!" hisses Suzume through clenched teeth, glaring at the back of Lark's head.

Robin and Michelle stifle their giggles, and to diffuse the situation Robin shouts out,

"Hey, Rave, put some music on!"

Raven turns on the CD player and the speakers burst into life with the Bangles playing a cover of Bikini Kill's "Rebel Girl". Soon all five of them are singing along;

"Rebel Girl, Rebel Girl,
Rebel Girl, you are the queen of my world"

As the music fades and the Chevy winds its way northward toward the Getty Center we cut to commercial.

When we return .......

The United States, North Korea and China at the brink of nuclear war. And Raven tells the tomato joke.

I drink therefore I am.

Hedonism 90% Existentialism 70% Utilitarianism 70% Nihilism 60% Justice (Fairness) 35% Kantianism 25% Apathy 25% Strong Egoism 5% Divine Command 0% What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03) created with QuizFarm.com

Hire Me ....... Please!

Cali: "Man, reality TV reached a new low last night. I mean, admittedly I've been pretty picky about trying to get a job, and I probably could have tried harder to get one, but there have been many jobs I was perfectly qualified for, yet didn't get. To watch a bunch of jerks being given a job and then trying to fired on their first day to win $25,000 makes me pretty sick. There must be a hell of a lot of people out there who need jobs much more than I do - how the hell must they feel if they watch this crap?"
Fox: "Hopefully 'Fire me - please.' will bomb in the ratings and the m*therf*cker who came up with the idea, the asshole who produced it and that total dickhead of a presenter will all get their sorry asses FIRED. That would be sweet justice indeed, my friend. Though primetime redeemed itself a little with the Brad Pitt interview on ABC afterwards. I mean, Diane Sawyer was her usual sugary self, but Pitt really came across as a cool guy - someone who really means what he says about issues and cares enough to follow through on it."
Cali: "Yeah, he's a good guy - you know he did a guest appearance here before you joined us."
Fox: "Get outta here - really? Did he say any more about Angelina than he did to Diane?"
Cali: "Wouldn't stop talking about her. He was saying that during the filming of the movie they used to ......"
Angelina: "Hello boys."
Cali: "Oh shit, ummm, I mean hello Ms. Jolie, how are you? What brings you here?"
Angelina: "Brad sent me, said you were looking for someone to comment-whore for you."
Cali: "I thought he was sending Clooney - I mean, not that we'd rather have Clooney here ...."
Fox: "We were just talking about the great job that you and Brad were doing helping out in Africa and all that."
Angelina: "Thanks boys, now you'll stick to that topic, right?"
Foxycali: "Yes Ms. Jolie!"
Angelina: "Good. Now I have to get going, we're shooting a remake of Fox Force Five and I'm playing Raven. I'll see you later boys."
Foxycali: "Okay Ms. Jolie - may we call you Angelina? No, okay - that's fine, can't wait for the movie - who's playing Lark?"
Angelina: "Can't tell you boys, watch the original and maybe you'll get a clue."

Introducing Fox.

"Look Vivica, duckies! Quack, quack!"
"Hmmm, nice."
"And over there Vivica a giraffe! See how long his neck is!"
"Yep, long, nice."
"And look Vivica, a fox!"
"Whoa, get her freakin' autograph! She totally rocked in Kill Bill!"

Okay, you thought that was bad? Fox and Cali decided to join blogs - this is just an example of what you're gonna get! Just wait til you hear the Fox Force Five tomato family joke - again.

Of course I managed to delete all my links while introducing fox.

I really should be posting something, but i don't really have anything, so i guess this will be one of those rambling, pointless posts that so many of y'all sometimes post (ohhh - just kidding).

Saw Star Wars Ep. III yesterday. I'm not really a big Star Wars fan, but everyone (well, except NYPinTA) seemed to really like it. I was surprised how much i enjoyed it, and gratified that i'd been filled in on Anakin's "I shouldn't have killed an unarmed man" line by Trina - i think i would have missed it. Having not seen I or II, I couldn't quite get why Obi Wan and Natalie Portman's character (hey, its not like she had an easy-to-remember name like Molly) saw so much in Anakin, who came across to me like a complete dickhead, even before he crossed over. And can someone answer this? If Obi Wan had finished off the job, instead of leaving him to be rebuilt as Vader, would Harrison Ford have been offered the role of Indiana Jones?
Since I have one of those Blockbuster All You Can Watch, Two At A Time deals for a month while its cheap, we followed light SciFi with light RomCom (I don't know if that's an accepted abb. and it turned out to be not as light as i thought it'd be) with Garden State. The second half of the movie and Natalie Portman's great performance as Sam (See? Now that's easy to remember) won me over, despite some pretty lame scenes in the first half. The one thing that kept holding me back from really liking it though, was the soundtrack which sucked except for Zero 7's wonderful "In The Waiting Line" and the Thievery Corp song. If you're gonna make a soundtrack so prominent (and it was), pick some good songs, not songs from artists you think will be seen as cool. There again, I'm not the target audience - oh well.

Whenever y'all get the chance, go check out the Complimenting Commenter, its a very cool idea. Leave him a compliment and maybe he'll visit you and leave one for you. And talking of blogs, I started another one the other day (different screen name). As it is I barely manage to maintain this one, the science one and the stupid list one that i think only one person reads. How stupid am I?

Okay, I've fulfilled my posting duties on this blog, now off to the science blog edit page. Hey, I did warn you I didn't have anything, didn't I? What do you want - a refund?